Relationships are tricky things. Sometimes they are difficult to navigate. Sometimes you’ve been in one too long to realize it’s not right. Sometimes you get so comfortable with unhappiness that you forget what happiness looks like.
THESE ARE FEW POINTS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE IN A RIGHT RELATIONSHIP
You spend time together doing things you both enjoy.
It’s great to do what he likes. It’s great to do what she likes. But what’s even better is to find things you both like, and to do them together.
You spend time apart, doing things you enjoy.
When you’re in the right relationship, your partner understands that there are things you want to do alone. We all need time to do our own things, and the right relationship is one in which both partners understand and appreciate that about each other.
You fight productively.
When you’re in the right relationship, fighting is never about winning. It’s not even about getting your point across (though sometimes it takes that ugly turn). A productive fight is about understanding the other person, finding common ground, compromising, and respecting each other throughout the process.
Each of yoy have your own friends and share friends too.
Some of my friends are in relationships where they only have couple friends. Others only have their own sets of friends. When you’re in the right relationship, you find balance between your social circle, your partner’s, and your shared circle. Missing any of those three elements may be a sign of concern.
You maintain self-identity.
You celebrate being you. Your partner does the same. And you appreciate each other more for maintaining your self-identity. In the right relationship both partners are nurtured to continuously improve and develop their “self.”
Your friends and family like you together.
One of the easiest ways to know if you’re in the right relationship is to pay attention to the feedback you get from friends and family. Assuming your friends and family want what is best for you, a lot of negative feedback is a bad sign. That doesn’t mean everyone will be enthusiastic about your relationship, but the overall sense you get should be positive.
You are able to disagree respectfully.
Some things you wont agree on. It happens. The right relationship isn’t about everything being perfect, but about partners maintaining a high level of respect when things don’t go perfectly. You can disagree witb no hurt feelings, We don’t need to agree on everything. And that’s an important realization.
You better your partner, and they better you.
Improving one’s self through the inspiration of the other.
You share a passion for your future together.
In the right relationship both partners are enthusiastic about a future together. And while not everything lasts forever, partners who share a vision for what their future entails are in a much better position than partners who don’t.
You’re attracted to your partner, mind, body, and spirit.
That attraction is probably the first thing that motivated the pursuit of a relationship. But are you attracted to his mind? Are you attracted to her spirit? Is he the kind of person you could have conversations with years from now when you’re both old and wrinkly? Is she the kind of person whose joy will shine through when her face shows her age? You’re in the right relationship when you’re just as excited about the late night conversations as you are about what happens between the sheets.
You keep each other’s secrets.
Do you keep her secrets? Does she keep yours? Are you diligent about protecting your partner’s privacy? This is a small, but very important issue that signifies the level of respect and value you hold for your partner. You’re in the right relationship when you are impressed with how much your partner values protecting your secrets.
You make a good team.
There is value in making a good team.
You enjoy doing even mundane tasks together.
Even a day of errands and chores can be fun if you’re with the right person. Ask yourself this: Could you enjoy a day cleaning out the garage or attic with your partner? If the answer is yes, you’re in the right relationship.
You are compatible sexually.
You should be compatible with your sexual interests and desires, in quality, quantity, style, and all other characteristics. If you’re a 3–4 times a week kind of person and your partner considers once a week a chore, you might need to reconsider the longevity of your relationship.
You share financial goals.
Finances break up even the best of relationships. It’s a good start to share bunny ideas about financial goals, how much income you require to be happy and not stressed.